a killing.

 I’m unsure how the event began, but i can tell you that i was in Jacob Geller’s neighborhood, kind of like an area of suburbia. It was night. He was “home alone” meaning that he wasn’t living alone but his significant other (his boyfriend in this case, i believe?) was on a trip and was coming home that night. I don’t know what we were talking about but it seemed more like he was guiding me through something and trying to keep me focused on something or other. I kept feeling the camera roll off into the corners of the room, kind of like the camera stick on a controller having “stick drift” but as he would talk, it would lock me back into the vision of the conversation.

There is a gap in between when he and i were speaking the first time and then when i went back to his house but the events that happened between those nodes were really impactful to the overall sense of the dream. I walked through a school yard which reminded me of Abbey Lane’s open field, just outside of the playground. There is a grassy open field which I imagine could be used for soccer if it were tended to and then it eventually becomes a baseball field. There are chain link fences surrounding that whole portion of the space. I was walking down one side of the field and another person was walking towards me. I very violently killed that person when we got close. I remember there was no sound, but i grabbed hair from their head and it was coming out in clumps as i was stabbing and slashing them. It was a very violent affair. Kind of that feeling of frenzied animal rage where the actions i was taking didn’t feel like they were coming from me in particular. I was trying to drive away in the end and I was trying to pull out of a parking spot that I was parallel parked in and I saw a police SUV coming up from behind me and I noticed that it was slowing down. All I could see were the headlights and the silhouette of the car as I looked behind me and when I turned back around to look out the front window, the window was covered in blood. Lots of smearing like I was trying to clear the liquid off, but with my hands. No real sense of cleaning, just swiping and smearing. I hoped and hoped they would drive by me and they did, but then I ended up behind them in traffic through a city. 

It was late night/early morning and I could see the orange of the street lights along the freeway I was on as I was returning to Geller’s house. We were standing in the “front room” of his house and/or I was leaving and the boyfriend hadn’t been home yet. He was talking me through so much of the situation and I was telling him about it in a way where I was speaking rationally and slowly? Telling him little bits and details but really trying to change the subject. I remember a line of dialog triggered the next thing to happen. He asked, “don’t you have any remorse?” or “don’t you feel bad?” or something to that extent, and my response was:

“No, not at all. To me, he was already dead.”

On that line, it triggered music but it was diegetic, coming from the car that Geller’s boyfriend was finally driving up. When I knew that it was probably not a good time to be there, I started walking to my car and passed by the boyfriend and could see that the sun was coming up. The boyfriend was already telling some wild story about why he was late, and I could tell that it was untrue.