Gods of Dream.

  My dad is in the ICU right now, likely going to pass in the next few days. I’ve been contemplating a lot of the logistics that are going to take place over the next few days, if not weeks. I’m trying to figure out a lot of the little things that are going to be actionable and a lot of the ways that things truly won’t be all that different in a very intimate and immediate way, but the weight of reflection has really taken on a different shine. It’s given me a lot of thought about legacy and the way that memories end up being our avatar, a bastion to those who need to seek us out when we’re not there any longer. The light we cast is the light they have. If they chose to capture it, it’s what they’re going to sustain with.  Last night, or really, early morning after not being able to get too deep into a sleep, i had a dream that he was in a room with me. It may have been the living room I was in… but really, I don’t really remember the dimensions or the room itself. But he was ...

  i dont have the right words to capture this, although i have to try. i just woke from a dream with an emotion of such immense love and care and like… lifelong eternal friendship? being seen? but it isn’t about the person in it, but the person more represented a sense of affirmation that i needed? or was granting myself.  i was at work, and i was facing an ice bin or the mastrena and i feel myself being hugged from behind. two arms reach around me and meet their arms in the front of me and i think it’s kaleena. i look to my right and it’s jess (who is pretty short?) and she’s got her head on my shoulder talking to me, but her eyes are greener and her complexion is tanner and i’m feeling a sense of… appreciation and gratitude? kind of like an expression of thank you for being here, you are doing the right things, you are giving everything you are asked and required, and i start to turn, to be like hey man, thank you and she keeps me kind of at arms’ length and is talking to ...

 sent to Bill: i had a dream that we were at this very serious retreat that was about like keeping your emotions calm in business or something? and we were separated into a lot of different “classrooms” but there was one where we finally got together and it was in this larger auditorium type of room. and i got brought up on stage to answer questions about something. in that moment LITERALLY GANDHI shows up as a surprise guest and i’m trying not to laugh like fighting for my life trying not to laugh and gandhi brought like a “special book” and is talking to me and trying to show me and flip through the pages and bc i’m laughing all i can say is “…ohh” and you’re up front sneaking pictures and video with your cell phone and we are DYING laughing without laughing.