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don't let him go.

  I was at home and Sydney was there with me. We actually had just got back from picking something up that we bought online? And when we got to the house to pick it up, there was a show happening and we were looking forward to the band because she recognized them from either an internet post or a magazine article. She knew them visually. And when they started playing, i was trying to get into them, thinking she liked them? But then i looked over at her and she wasn’t liking them at all, and she said “I don’t like that.” We were laughing a lot about that, and kept quoting it. We were drinking as we were leaving the house/venue and got caught behind a car that wouldn’t let us pass during a traffic jam? Like we kept trying to cross a road and there just wasn’t a good time to get past it, or something like that. The mood went from having a good time to being kind of distracted by reality. It felt like the dream was dissolving at that point, and I think I then woke up at our house. Act...
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and is it so far you need not run?

  Friday into Saturday A few different slides on this one. The first one is I’m laying in bed on my back and someone enters my room and they’re trying to climb over me to the other side, but they stop and touch me and we start to be intimate. There’s another part where it’s early in the morning and i’m in brooklyn and i’m trying to get a haircut and i’m down towards the water/industry area in greenpoint and that’s where the barber shop is. I’m getting my haircut and these two guys are taking their time, like it’s so slow, so crazy how long they’re taking just talking and trying to cut my hair. And i hear a knock at the barber shop door and it’s Bella and she is saying, hey i just wanted you to know i’m here if you can let me into the store. And she’s not there, i’m guessing it was just a representation of my phone? Or a text message? And i look at the time and it’s 4:15 and we’re supposed to be there at 4:30 and i’m like okay i have to leave and my hair is basically half cut in all...
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astral outlines; outcomes.

  thursday into friday laying on a couch with someone, i barely feel my body. I mostly just feel my arms and hands. The rest, I kind of see as an outline of myself that I can’t recognize. One arm is wrapped behind their body holding them and my hand is on their waist and it feels familiar, but feels like someone else. It feels like a flashback or a memory trap. My left hand is exploring their body but I cant see them. The room is pitch black, and I am making out what I see by feel. I am trying to map their body with just my hand. The entire time we are just talking but also, I’m asking questions on her body with my hand, asking permission with my hand. And she is either complying with her body or i am still trying to figure out what her needs are. We’re talking about something else (us?) and the words don't match what were doing. It feels like they are resisting talking about anything definitive but also implying that what they are allowing me to do is proof enough. They don't ...
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only if you can breathe.

  Ii was going to see a band i hadn’t really known that well before, but i had met someone that i knew was going to be at this show. I have a vague recollection of wanting to “psych myself up” for their live performance, but i was in a new city (felt like san francisco?) and i didn’t have my bearings about me. I met an EMT while i was out at an… office?... and i think they checked my breathing and vitals and i was told i needed to get breathing treatments. So i made an appointment for a week down the line (or so it felt) and was going to come back and get the treatments in a few days. She gave me a paper with stats written down, but none of it meant anything to me. I think the notes were in my dad’s handwriting. When it came time to do my breathing treatment, i was at the hospital in a waiting room and was vaguely aware of my friends returning from a vacation and they wanted me to come by their outdoor barbecue/picnic after the treatment. I eventually ended up getting put in a whee...
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wrangling magnificence.

I had a dream that Dave still worked at vitamin world and he asked me to work there 2 nights a week to do him a favor and help out. But i still had to work at starbucks as well but for some reason i couldn't work the two extra days (i think bc in my minds eye now the drive was like over multiple states) so I had to work up a scheme to work 3 days there but make it seem like i was doing 5 days while also tricking my employees to think i was “supposed” to only work 3 days. [For clarity: I was going to work 2 days at VW, and was expected to work 5 at Starbucks, but I was only going to work 3.] nathan fillion was the vitamin world DM and the dream jump cut to me in a conference room table with him and he had this huuuuge folder of notes and printouts and it was all our old closing paperwork and he was saying that he was taking all of us out, the whole old team, bc we were getting out too early for what we were supposed to be doing and he also was saying he saw the antics we were pullin...
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generate a pyramid of thought.

  I was at a symposium type of ordeal. We were being sorted into different aptitudes, and i happened to get something about organization. I think they were testing my ability to organize sentences into important order while someone talked? That talk turned into an NHL hockey game, but i was paying so much attention, it felt like i was watching it on television. It was a long time before i realized that i wasn’t watching it on TV but it was happening in front of me AND there was no other crowd other than the gathered “students” there. Sidney Crosby scored a 140th instance of some kind of record and that’s when it really stood out. It was like they lifted some kind of railroad crossing arm and allowed way more people into the arena and people were flooding in to their seats. I take a step back and i realize that we’ve been in this sort of larger media booth that feels more like a student auditorium. One of the girls running the “class” came up to me and asked somewhat innocently, hey...
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i can DJ in another city where we haven't kissed.

  i remember starting specifically in the back room of belle hall and cleaning or finishing cold brew and talking about an incredible hulk scene that's so sad and that in some way he lost his child and the scream that the hulk let out was so desperate and loud it was one of the best of all time, like you could really feel the emotion. A coworker went up front through the backroom door and I tried to recreate the scream but my voice wouldn't come out.  later that night myself and two coworkers leave together talking about going to another city for a dj set that bigger coworker was going to run. he had his trunk stacked with his gear and we were all excited to go. we drive separately to his house bc we’re all going together and were going to spend the night there in the new city. He keeps boasting about how he knows where it is. We get to his house to drop off the cars and end up going into their house and it's kind of awkward in the house. I think their spouse doesn't kn...
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