Gods of Dream.

  i had a dream i was in a resort. like a brightly lit, very beachy, everyone wearing white type of place. i was with a group of women and it was for a massive event. maybe bachelorette party. something where one of the women was being celebrated. i didnt know the woman but cassie pinner was one of the women there and laura from carissa’s work at betsey johnson was there. it was from her dreadlock days, not her bald head days. i was having a really great time and felt like i was being very entertaining and warm and fun and we laughed a lot and got surprised by how good things felt, often. there was a sense of timelessness, like nothing was going to end, and even if it did, we werent going BACK to anything. there was also a safety of not having to undersell or undercompensate for not being attracted to any of these women. it was all a very clear and direct sense of platonic joy that was equally reciprocated. the mode was coated with a fantastic ease. 

  My dad is in the ICU right now, likely going to pass in the next few days. I’ve been contemplating a lot of the logistics that are going to take place over the next few days, if not weeks. I’m trying to figure out a lot of the little things that are going to be actionable and a lot of the ways that things truly won’t be all that different in a very intimate and immediate way, but the weight of reflection has really taken on a different shine. It’s given me a lot of thought about legacy and the way that memories end up being our avatar, a bastion to those who need to seek us out when we’re not there any longer. The light we cast is the light they have. If they chose to capture it, it’s what they’re going to sustain with.  Last night, or really, early morning after not being able to get too deep into a sleep, i had a dream that he was in a room with me. It may have been the living room I was in… but really, I don’t really remember the dimensions or the room itself. But he was ...

  i dont have the right words to capture this, although i have to try. i just woke from a dream with an emotion of such immense love and care and like… lifelong eternal friendship? being seen? but it isn’t about the person in it, but the person more represented a sense of affirmation that i needed? or was granting myself.  i was at work, and i was facing an ice bin or the mastrena and i feel myself being hugged from behind. two arms reach around me and meet their arms in the front of me and i think it’s kaleena. i look to my right and it’s jess (who is pretty short?) and she’s got her head on my shoulder talking to me, but her eyes are greener and her complexion is tanner and i’m feeling a sense of… appreciation and gratitude? kind of like an expression of thank you for being here, you are doing the right things, you are giving everything you are asked and required, and i start to turn, to be like hey man, thank you and she keeps me kind of at arms’ length and is talking to ...

 sent to Bill: i had a dream that we were at this very serious retreat that was about like keeping your emotions calm in business or something? and we were separated into a lot of different “classrooms” but there was one where we finally got together and it was in this larger auditorium type of room. and i got brought up on stage to answer questions about something. in that moment LITERALLY GANDHI shows up as a surprise guest and i’m trying not to laugh like fighting for my life trying not to laugh and gandhi brought like a “special book” and is talking to me and trying to show me and flip through the pages and bc i’m laughing all i can say is “…ohh” and you’re up front sneaking pictures and video with your cell phone and we are DYING laughing without laughing. 

  I’m unsure how the event began, but i can tell you that i was in Jacob Geller’s neighborhood, kind of like an area of suburbia. It was night. He was “home alone” meaning that he wasn’t living alone but his significant other (his boyfriend in this case, i believe?) was on a trip and was coming home that night. I don’t know what we were talking about but it seemed more like he was guiding me through something and trying to keep me focused on something or other. I kept feeling the camera roll off into the corners of the room, kind of like the camera stick on a controller having “stick drift” but as he would talk, it would lock me back into the vision of the conversation. There is a gap in between when he and i were speaking the first time and then when i went back to his house but the events that happened between those nodes were really impactful to the overall sense of the dream. I walked through a school yard which reminded me of Abbey Lane’s open field, just outside of the playgr...

  I was at this amazing hotel and it was with work. It was a combination of old gamestop managers and current starbucks managers. This means very little in the overall scheme of things, outside of the fact that so many of them seemed to be talking about how annoying it was to be at this all expense paid conference at this truly incredible hotel (subway lines between buildings; bathosphere elevator system) and they spoke mostly of how annoying things at work were. I think some of that has to do with their level of commitment to work, as that’s sort of how i operate in the real world, but to nitpick and dive in to the nitty gritty of the workplace HERE of all places was really bothering me. In this dream, though, i don’t remember much of the actual details of their complaints or dialog, just that it was following me everywhere. I left an entire pile of luggage at a railway station because i was walking away from them to avoid it. I went down the elevator to have a drink at a HUGE hot...