for all the days, for all that’s been given.

 i dont have the right words to capture this, although i have to try. i just woke from a dream with an emotion of such immense love and care and like… lifelong eternal friendship? being seen? but it isn’t about the person in it, but the person more represented a sense of affirmation that i needed? or was granting myself. 


i was at work, and i was facing an ice bin or the mastrena and i feel myself being hugged from behind. two arms reach around me and meet their arms in the front of me and i think it’s kaleena. i look to my right and it’s jess (who is pretty short?) and she’s got her head on my shoulder talking to me, but her eyes are greener and her complexion is tanner and i’m feeling a sense of… appreciation and gratitude? kind of like an expression of thank you for being here, you are doing the right things, you are giving everything you are asked and required, and i start to turn, to be like hey man, thank you and she keeps me kind of at arms’ length and is talking to me like almost like someone in a movie seeing someone off or giving a living eulogy, like this deep appreciation, and she’s getting this entire statement out and she’s making this really sincere direct eye contact with me and then she hugs me this really big great hug. it filled my whole body with this sense of… being overjoyed to be alive? to be seen and loved and appreciated? it was a very platonic thing, a way to kind of provide myself a vision of gratitude for my place on earth and in people’s lives. sort of breaking through a barrier and finally breathing air or something. 

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